I hate whining. I hate complaining. And I hate feeling sorry for myself.
I prefer to be positive and to look for the good in all things. I firmly believe in God's word and these two verses are the words that I am clinging to lately.
Romans 8:28And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
Jeremiah 29:11For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
As I mentioned, a few weeks ago we had to put our dog to sleep.
We own a very small business (3 employees). One employee has been out on medical leave and we had to ask another to leave this week. I won't go into detail, but let's just say he did not leave on good terms.
I typically fill in at the business if more than one of our employees are out for more than a day, but this coming Monday, I start homeschooling Evan. I can hardly go back to work full time while my son is beginning his first week of homeschool.
On Monday evening, Todd started complaining about his leg/ankle hurting and that he didn't feel well. He felt worse on Tuesday and ended up closing our business for the day and coming home before 10am. That is so unlike him. He was running a fever all day and night and when he woke up Wednesday morning he felt even worse. I finally took a look at his leg and knew that something was very, very wrong.
After a trip to the doctor yesterday, it is determined he has cellulitis. Initially, the doctor wanted to admit him to the hospital, but she decided to try an injectable antibiotic along with an oral antibiotic and wants to see him again this afternoon. I will spare you the photographic evidence (you're welcome) but I have drawn with a Sharpie all over his leg where there was redness. It was a lot. It doesn't look worse today, so I'm hopeful that the antibiotics are working. I'm very anxious to see the doctor this afternoon and am praying for good news!
If you would, please pray for Todd. Pray that this infection is getting better. Pray that he does not need to be hospitalized. Pray that he starts feeling better and will be able to get back to work soon.
As of right now, our business is shut down because we don't have anyone that is capable of doing the work he does. No one else is trained to do it. The employee that we had to let go was the only other person trained to do that particular part of the job, which happens to be the only beginning step for anything else to get done. It just really stinks that Todd being unable to work happened at the same time we lost our employee. The timing is just not good.
And add in to all of that, I still have to go to my mom's twice a day to take care of her medical needs. In the evening around 9pm to connect/start her IV and then at 7am in the morning to stop it. And I am supposed to take her to see a specialist in Chicago next Monday (4 hour drive), which requires an overnight stay in Chicago the night before because my mom can not handle traveling in the car for that many hours in one day, on top of the long appointments she'll have that day. And honestly, at this point, I'm not sure I can handle it all in one day either. She will still need her IV connected that night we are there and she is on oxygen 24 hours a day so we have to take along multiple portable oxygen tanks along with her IV supplies.
I am mentally and physically exhausted. However, I am still trying to workout because believe it or not, it's the only stress relief I have. But when I was at gym on Tuesday (I kept my phone with me just in case Todd needed me) I received NINE phone calls and 2 text messages related to work. Seriously, it's tough to de-stress when you can't even get an hour and a half of peace. :/
This stress and chaos is not how I wanted to start off homeschooling. I had grand plans but my brain is having a difficult time focusing on anything at all right now. So, if you happen to be sending up a prayer for Todd, can you please mention me and the kids, too?
We are trying to remember that we must trust that God's plan is bigger than we understand right now. We do know that will get through it.
All of this going on has wreaked havoc on me, mentally, and my very first instinct is to binge. I won't lie, I am struggling. But like I said, we will get through it. One way or another.
I hope to be back in a day or two with a more positive post. Hopefully with good news about Todd.